humor quotes

Erma Bombeck: 

Laughter rises out of tragedy, when you need it the most, and rewards you for your courage.

Friedrich Nietzsche: 

And we should consider every day lost on which we have not danced at least once. And we should call every truth false which was not accompanied by at least one laugh.

G. K. Chesterton: 

Angels can fly because they take themselves lightly; devils fall because of their gravity.

James Thurber: 

Humor is a serious thing. I like to think of it as one of our greatest earliest natural resources, which must be preserved at all cost.

Joel Goodman: 

Humor is a universal language.

Mark Twain: 

The secret source of humour itself is not joy, but sorrow. There is no humour in heaven.

Mark Twain: 

The secret source of humour itself is not joy, but sorrow. There is no humour in heaven.

Unknown: 

The Procrastinator's Creed:

1. I believe that if anything is worth doing, it would have been done already. 

2. I shall never move quickly, except to avoid more work or find excuses.

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Unknown: 

"Top Ten List: Why Elvis Will Replace Jesus" 
(a classic Net humor piece)

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Unknown: 

Some children's answers to church school questions - from the Church of England:

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Unknown: 

- from the Institute for Stork Research and Science
Two different theories exist concerning the origin of children: the theory of Sexual reproduction, and the theory of the stork. Many people believe in the theory of sexual reproduction because they have been taught this theory at school. In reality, however, many of the world's leading scientists are in favor of the theory of the stork. If the theory of sexual reproduction is taught in schools, it must only be taught as a theory and not as the truth. Alternative theories, such as the theory of the stork, must also be taught.

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Virginia Woolf: 

The beauty of the world has two edges, one of laughter, one of anguish, cutting the heart asunder.

Will Rogers: 

I have always noticed that people will never laugh at anything that is not based on truth.

Will Rogers: 

Everything is changing. People are taking the comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke